click-a-friend

Once upon a time, friendships were formed over games of Tiggy or swapping muesli bars for yoghurt or joint homework assignments on Saving the Dolphins. It began with involved eye contact. A smile. Spoken words. A laugh or two.

Watch a bunch of five-year-olds in a room together and you'll recognise the old way of making friends.

Kids of that age have no preconceptions when it comes to making friends. Usually, they decide who they like best - be it because they were nice to them at lunchtime, or because they brought a really cool toy to Show and Tell - they strike up a friendship, and that's that. Simple.

These days, all one needs to do is click 'Add As Friend' on Facebook and - voila -

you are now friends with Joe Bloggs.

I was watching over my sister's shoulder the other day as she logged into her Facebook page. A Friend Request had come up.

Interestingly, the request came from a person who had been my best friend at Intermediate. I think she and my sister had spoken, oh maybe twice... and that was 12 years ago.

Nevertheless, she and my sister are now 'friends'.

Looking through the profiles on my own Facebook account, I note that several people have 400+ friends. Four hundred people? I can barely name four hundred people I am acquainted with, let alone am friends with. Perhaps that says more about me than them, but I'm still willing to bet that fewer than 30 of those four hundred people will stop in the street for a chat should they pass each other by.

Now, making friends is as easy as online shopping.

Perhaps it's that the concept of 'friend' has changed. Nowadays, a friend isn't necessarily someone you'd have a coffee with or call on the phone if you're having a bad day. A friend can be someone you met once at a party, or who sold you a book on the internet, or perhaps just someone who knows someone you know who sold THEM a book on the internet.

Once we head into the big wide world, we suddenly find ourselves without the means of easy social interaction of the school playground or classroom. We still crave that interaction; almost as much as we want people to know we are still popular and still liked by other human beings.

Hence, click-a-friend.

So what happens when the thread holding us - and all our four hundred-plus Facebook friends and Trademe friends and Oldfriends and Bebo friends - breaks? When the internet collapses beneath the weight of too many Farmville requests and Join This Group suggestions and godknowswhat applications?


If it weren't for the internet, how many friends do any of us really have? When Telecom fails, will Joe Bloggs call you on the phone instead?